Friday 8 July 2016

overly sensitive or just too much information?

So with the development of messaging apps over the last few years, I'm just wondering if perhaps we are actually given a bit too much information?

When you send a message on WhatsApp you get the initial Grey tick that tells you the message has been sent. 2 Grey ticks means that the message has reached the other person's phone. And then 2 Blue ticks means that the message has been read. 

Facebook messenger app has a similar setup. You know the message has been sent, gone through and then a thumbnail of the person's profile picture comes up next to the message when it's been read.

Now - that in itself is ok. A confirmation that things have gone through can be useful. 

The other piece of information that you are given is when that person was last online or active. This is where I think the problems can start.

Here's an example: You've sent a message on WhatsApp. You've got your 2 Grey ticks. So the message is sitting on your contact's phone, waiting to be read. Now, some people might claim that they do not get any notification of new messages. That's ok. Maybe it is the case. Although my understanding is that you can go into your phone settings and switch notifications on. Anyway... 

So days (and, sometimes, even more days) go by and you get no response, so you keep checking whether you've still got Grey ticks or whether they've changed to Blue. Nope - still on Grey. The message still hasn't been read. You then notice the banner that scrolls across underneath the contact's name. Last seen at such and such day/time. So that's fine. Until you realise that it indicates that your contact was last on there after you had sent your message and got your 2 Grey ticks. And yet they still haven't opened your message. But you can't tell me that they are unaware of your message sitting there waiting to be opened. The same goes for FB messenger. You're informed of when that contact was last Active.

I must point out that this post is not me aiming a rant at anyone in particular, it's actually based on a few conversations I've had recently with others who find this whole act of others reading their messages and then not responding - and sometimes claiming that they were unaware of any message - really upsetting. Of course, in a world of apps, computers and gadgets, generally, there will always be blips and crashes etc so you may have to accept that it may not be as simple as you being ignored. 

So without these receipts or read confirmations, perhaps we wouldn't be so predisposed to taking a non-response so personally. I know some of you will just be reading this and thinking "what's the big deal?" "who cares?"... But when, as an example, you might live away from one of your children (who is now pretty much an adult) and you are messaging them on a reasonably regular basis, and you're seeing your 2 Blue ticks or FB confirmation of message read - and you literally get no response, that's got to hurt. 

I am a bit of a stickler for people having manners. And a bit of respect for one another. Especially when they're meant to be your friend / family. I know that more often than not I'm having a bit of a bad head day and so don't always want to get too involved with a text message conversation. So, because I am aware of the fact that the sender will see that I've read their message or have indeed not even opened it, but yet have "been online" I make a point of not opening anyone's messages until I'm ready to read them properly and respond. Call me old-fashioned, but the last thing I want is to make people I care about feel like I can't be bothered to respond to them. 

I guess my point is that maybe it would be better to not have this much information at our fingertips. There's too much out there. Even this post will probably baffle a few of you as to why I even feel the need to write about it. But at the same time, there will probably be even more of you who understand what I'm saying and actually agree.

There are some days that I like the idea of going a bit old skool and sending a letter in the post. Just a little note or card to let someone know that you're thinking of them - it can mean the world to someone.

I think it's important to treat people how you would like to be treated and I always try my best to do that. I also know, from personal experience, that you can actually never just assume others will think the same as you. But that's human nature. Perhaps some of us could do with being a little less sensitive and perhaps some of us could do with being a little more considerate. 



WORD OF THE DAY:   SELENOTROPISM
                                         biology - growth in response to moonlight




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